On Monday I posted a question: “If you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be?” I couldn’t answer the question. Later, I added some more dialogue that I had with my wife. The dialogue with my wife still left me searching to find out if even asking this question was important? Today I think I have an answer.
On Tuesday night our small group met, my wife and I have been responsible for bringing various Nooma videos to group and this week I grabbed a video that I thought had to do with the question I was asking, but I didn’t realize just how much it would hit at the core of where I am personally. Nooma #18, Name, takes the one word concept and expands it like my wife had said the night before. We all have a name, but sometimes that name is assigned to us by others: flake, loser or jerk. Sometimes our names are passed down to us from our parents: not wanted, not good enough, or maybe your name is just a family name like Zimmerman.
All of us have names attached to us, better yet we have one word labels: Wife. Husband. Father. Daughter. Helpful. Lazy. There are billions of one word labels living on this planet and many of us have come to act and live a certain way because of these labels. The labels we wear come in layers. I believe that the layers look something like this:
- What we think others think of us
- What we think our family thinks of us
- What our family & others really think of us
- What we think of ourselves
- What we actually are.
The more we peel back the layers (some might use an onion as an example of the this) the closer we get to the core of who we are. I really appreciate this Nooma video, my small group and my wife’s conversation for helping me to get to a place where I can say that I do see that this pursuit has not been in vain. The question: “If you could describe yourself in one word, what would it be?” is very important and I believe that it can be answered.
In my own personal journey I think that I have peeled back some of the layers of the onion. I think I am somewhere between what our family & others really think of us and what we actually think of ourselves. I know I have come a long way in the last four years. I think that four years ago I was barely scratching the surface of what others think of me. Those labels mattered to me and I focused on them day and night. Now with each passing year I am getting letting go of what others think of me. I find myself moving closer and closer to knowing who I actually am.
Who am I? What is my one word?
Unique.
I think no matter where you are on the journey of life and self-discovery, eventually we will all land in the same place. We are each unique. One of a kind. Special. God made me unlike any other in the world with my own talents, my own abilities and my own journey. I haven’t finished the journey. I haven’t arrived at the destination but I know that I am on the path to discovering the many names that make Benji, but the first real label on the core of my onion . . .
. . . is unique.
What names are on your inner onion layers?
