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» Broken Heart

Dealing with the Demons

Posted on 08/23/2009 by Benji Zimmerman Posted in Personal | 2 Comments

This past week my wife and I flew to Michigan for my cousins wedding and a little relaxation time with family. It was by far one of the best times I have spent with my family in a long time. We laughed, we cried, we made new memories and we visited old ones. It truly was a great week. However at the end of the trip I was confronted with some of the demons that lurk in my heart and life.

We all have been wounded from time to time, whether it be a broken relationship, a past abuse or some sort of injustice. We all have been hurt in the depths of our souls. Developing through life some (very few of us) learn how to deal with these wounds in a healthy way. Most of us just learn how to mask the pain and anguish these events or people cause on us. I have been masking my pain for years. I have been wearing the mask for so long that I had almost forgotten that I was wearing it.

That all changed when I was in Michigan. I was made fully aware that even though I live thousands of miles away from the memories that hurt me I have been going about life ignoring their presence. Traveling back to the place I grew up generated a knowledge of those hurts, you could almost say that I developed an irregular heartbeat. It was like something deep inside me was stirred awake.

And I don’t like it.

Because the truth of it is that I don’t want to deal with my demons.

At some point in our lives we turn a corner. Our demons go from being our demons, to shifting to our identity. We not only believe the lies, we become the lies. Most of us don’t recognize this shift happening or when it occurs, but I believe it eventually happens to most of us. Being in Michigan snapped me back into reality that I was allowing the demons of my past, although buried deep inside, to control the way that I live my life.

God wants more for my life. And so do I. Time to try something different. But what?

Broken Hearted

Posted on 07/12/2009 by Benji Zimmerman Posted in Other | Leave a comment

What does your heart break for?

A few days ago I posted this on Facebook and I gathered a few response . . .

  • Lack of tolerance
  • Human trafficking
  • People who don’t know Jesus as their savior
  • Thirsty people who can’t get clean water
  • Little kids born into terrible situations
  • Loss of a loved one
  • Others that are hurting
  • The elderly
  • Abused, neglected & starving children

I think that deep down inside of all of us there is something that stirs something in our soul that says, “That is just wrong!” I know at numerous times my heart have broken for the atrocities of this world. Hungry children, unclean water, sex-slavery, genocide, civil wars, human slavery, death, or disease; you name the injustice and there is someone out there whose heart breaks for that particular cause. So what does your heart break for?

But beyond that, I think the better question is: what are you doing about it?

The people that posted the previous list on my Facebook people that are doing something about the things that they care about. But the question is not whether they are moved to action, but whether you and I are? I hate apathy. But yet it bleeds out of me. I spend my time doing what I want: reading, blogging, running, working, and out with my wife. My actions represent my heart.

Over the years there have been plenty of things that have broken my heart, but my actions have done very little about it. I am tired of being apathetic. I desperately want to make a difference in the world.

My wife and I are venturing into the world of developing a non-profit that fights drunk driving by providing free rides home to bar patrons. Making a difference in the world requires small steps of action. This is my wife and I moving from apathy to action.

How about you? What breaks your heart? What are you doing about it?